If you’re on any sort of dating app, you’ll know that NSFW pics are everywhere. It’d be hard to find a single (double meaning, get it?) person who hasn’t been sent at least one in the last few years – willingly or not – which is why it is super important to learn how to take sexy selfies. And, it’s fair to say that women respond with their fair share of sexy selfies. I mean, how else is your fancy lingerie going to get some love during lockdown?
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We generally avoid any of the features that change the structure of a face, shrink or widen a body part, etc and stick with an editing style that makes the subjects look like themselves. But that’s a discussion for another article. For this article, we’re giving you a basic primer on how to use the app. What is Facetune?
Now the likes of Kim K, Lizzo, Channing Tatum, or well, most celebs, have made it acceptable to pose in very little clothing for Instagram, so we don’t really think that much of snapping a revealing pic and DMing it to someone. #sendnudes. You do you – we’re all feeling confident in your body and your photos, if you’re thinking of stripping down and getting your photoshoot on, here’s what you should consider. And check out some sexy selfie ideas for some selfie inspiration!
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Why Sending Sexy Selfie Pics Is A Terrible Idea
Before you learn how to take a sexy selfie and press send on your phone, take a second to consider the following:
How happy would you be with your boss seeing that photo? Or Dad? How about Grandma? You may only send the photo to one person, but there is a slight chance it could end up online or in a group chat. It’s happened before, so unless you are Kim K and a sexy slip would actually kick-start your career, take a second to think about what would happen if the photos got leaked – intentionally or not. Internet search lasts forever. I know this for a fact, because there’s an embarrassing overly-emo tumblr post I wrote in eight grade that still comes up when you google my full name.
Hacking, revenge porn and cyberbullying exists, if you really want to get into it. That means that there’s potential for some really big consequences. Generally, people only care about celeb selfies and leaked nudes so unless you’ve got 15 million insta followers, you are probably okay.
Now, think about the person on the receiving end of that selfie. There’s nothing worse than an unsolicited d*ck pic, am I right ladies? Don’t go sending your photos to someone who doesn’t want them, or appreciate them, or someone you don’t trust that might hurt your feelings. You might know you look fit but if they don’t wanna know, it’s their loss. Leave it at that. If they really aren’t into that kinda of thing, you could scare them off or end up as a joke in the group chat.
Why You Should Def Send Sexy Selfies
Taking provocative photos might make YOU feel good. Even if you don’t plan to send them to anyone else, having shots of yourself looking smoking hot is a great confidence boost. Look back on them when you’re having a crappy, gonna-need-a-strong-one-after-this kind of day and remind yourself just how sexy you are. And we stan a confident queen, or king.
Even though the photos can make you feel more confident in your body, taking them can be daunting. Spending time learning how to take a good selfie by working out your best angles and and learning to love the bits you might not be thrilled with is part of the process. Looking at yourself through a camera lens is a great way to explore a new relationship with your body. I bet you that the camera doesn’t see half of the flaws you think you do.
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Spice up your relationship and build intimacy. Sending a few flirty pics, getting someone’s heart racing, knowing that you’re on their mind is such a fun way to enhance your relationship. During times when you can’t be together, a little bit of teasing never hurt anybody. Just be prepared for the sexual tension, it might cause some serious frustration!
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Plus, if you can deal with the hindered gratification, then exchanging seductive snaps is a great way to build trust and intimacy. If you’re both confident and happy to exchange photos, then get your flirt on. Bonus? Photos can be taken anytime, but you can send a sexy pic later on, when you’re actually lying in bed with a coffee-stained t-shirt and greasy hair. Bottom line, if you want to let your partner know how much you miss them, or exactly what you’re thinking about but don’t have the words, a quick snap of some side-boob, of that bulge in your pants might be a way to get the message across.
Finally, the most important reason to not send a sexy selfie is because you just don’t want to. Sending a private photo is your own damn business. Nothing and no one should persuade you to send it if it just doesn’t sit right with you. That random dude asking for nudes shouldn’t change your mind, nor should the chick sending a thousand winking emojis, or your friends, who claim it’s no big deal and send them every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday.
How To Send a Sexy Selfie
With some of your tamer sexy selfies, you might be comfortable posting on Instagram for all the world to see. In other cases, the world, or specifically Auntie Sue and Uncle Bob, seeing your sexy selfie might have you red in the face. In these instances, I highly recommend sending your sexy selfie directly to the desired recipient privately.
So, how can you send a sexy selfie while still keeping it classy? Got you covered, boo.
For the love of all that is holy, use Snapchat
You may prefer Instagram or TikTok for your social media obsession, but when it comes to sending sexy selfies, choose Snapchat.
Unless you reaallllyy trust the recipient of your sexy selfie, sending a sexy selfie directly to someone means they have that shot in their possession and can do whatever they want with it, including showing it to other people without your permission and even worse – without your knowledge (not cool). With Snapchat, you can at least seek some comfort in the idea that the photo will only be visible to them for a couple of seconds.
Having said that, screenshots are always a possibility. While you will be alerted of the screenshot, the damage is done and you can’t guarantee your beau will delete it, especially when it comes to your sexiest shots. Not only that, there areways to get around the screenshot notification (omg, what??). Likely? No. Possible? Yup.
Give the recipient fair warning
While most of the time opening a Snap in public is harmless, there are other more rated R scenarios. If someone opens a sexy selfie in public, like around a table with a bunch of friends, phones out – you might be exposing a little more of yourself than you care to…
Give the recipient some fair warning before sending the sexy selfie through.
Even in the more PG-13 scenarios, some warning will mean they’re not opening while they’re half distracted with something else. Because seriously, you spent the time getting that perfect shot. Your recipient of choice should be giving it their full attention.
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Check yourself before you wreck yourself
So you’re using the right app (Snapchat) and you’ve your guy or gal some warning, but how can you be sure your sexy selfie is…sexy, and not well, weird?
You might feel awkward asking someone for advice, but if you’ve got a BFF out there who you can trust, why not get their opinion on your sexy selfie?
This will boost your confidence and a great way to help ensure the selfie perfectly straddles the line between sexy enough but not too over-the-top. The perfect balance of girl gone bad.
How To Actually Take That Sexy Selfie: 7 Tips
So, now you know the pros and cons of sending sexy selfies. You also know the best way to send a sexy selfie. Now, let’s all put on our big girl or boy panties and talk about how to take a sexy selfie, whether you’re sending it privately or posting it on Instagram. It feels good to pretend that every selfie you take just comes out naturally looking like it belongs on Kylie Jenner’s feed, but be real with yourself: that is rarely the case.
Instead, you’ve got to work what ‘yo mama gave ‘ya, while somehow striking that sweet spot between sexy but not too sexy. Do you know what I mean? You’re not trying to get in your birthday suit completely (enough celebrities have taught us time and time again about the pitfalls of this route), you’re not down to look like a character that just stepped out of Moulin Rouge, and you certainly don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.
You’re more so going for that Bad Girl RiRi vibe. An “I woke up like this”, vibe that skipped the bed head and awoke up from a deep sleep into a seriously flattering angle.
You in? Read on to eat up all the best tips on how to actually take a sexy selfie. I promise, you won’t even feel all that silly.
- Start saving sexy selfie inspiration
When it comes to a sexy selfie that’s still PG-13, what’s the #1 spot where you’re going to see it? Instagram.
With so much sexy selfie inspiration floating around on the app, why not start collecting sexy selfie inspiration to help you figure out what you think looks best? We all have different takes on what constitutes as “sexy”.
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To save images on Instagram, simply tap the flag icon below the image on the right. The image will automatically be saved into a collection, so this way, you can access sexy selfie inspiration at the click of a button. No more blank staring at your phone looking for someone to hit you with a magical sexy spell. Keep all the inspiration you need right at your fingertips. Abra ca sexy dabra.
2. Are you practicing?
But really, are you? While you might feel slightly (incredibly) ridiculous sitting in your room trying to perfect the angle for your JLo look-a-like booty shot, knowing what angels work for you and your body type can make all the difference in capturing the perfect sexy selfie.
If Nicki Minaj’s Feelin’ Myself has taught us anything, sexiness is all about confidence. Take the time to practice your sexy selfie, and you’ll be in a much better position to slay your next sexy photoshoot.
3. What are you wearing?
Nude isn’t always best. In fact, even in a world of disappearing Snapchat photos, we all know screenshots exist, as I mentioned above you may want to err on the side of caution.
If you’re thinking it’s going to be much more challenging to ramp up the sex appeal without stripping down, you‘re wrong.
Oftentimes, the sexist selfies aren’t full-on nude, but instead use clothes and accessories that emphasize your best features, letting your audience fantasize about what’s going on underneath the clothes.
So go ahead, if you’ve got a dress that makes you feel like a Kardashian, or a pair of jeans that will have your admirer dreaming of the peach emoji, pull them out and dress to impress in your sexy selfie. It will make a world of a difference both in how you look, but also how you feel (another reminder that sexiness is all about confidence).
4. What facial expression works for you?
Have your sexy face nailed down? Yup, everybody has a sexy face. And yes, it’s definitely one that you’re going to want to have a good handle on.
For some, the sexy face might be more smoldering and serious. While, for others, a selfie with pearly whites is the most flattering of them all.
The one thing that’s for certain about all sexy faces: It’s all in the eyes. Let your eyes convey a message. Try out some “smizing” techniques a la Tyra Banks. Stare deep into the mirror until you make yourself want you, and then try to recreate it on camera.
5. Have you tried…props?
And I’m not even talking about anything rated R here.
You might want to try adding some visual interest to your photo by way of props. Maybe you’re drinking from a straw? Maybe you look super comfortable and inviting in your bed? Or perhaps it’s something as simple as a candle in the background of your photo to create a mood with soft lighting? Got a friend with a food fetish? There are those too.
When it comes to taking a sexy selfie, now is not the time to play it safe. Get creative.
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6. Consider filters
I love a good filter as much as the next person (the Paris filter on IG stories? Yes please). But, it’s very easy to overdo it on the filters to the point where the photo loses some of its natural appeal.
Pair your filter with the vibe of your photo. Want a darker, smoldering kinda sexy selfie? Use a high-contrast filter that makes you look a bit — dark (in the personality sense). Maybe you’re going for a playful sexy selfie and you want a filter that makes your photo look nostalgic and grainy? Or maybe you want something that feels a little boho, so something with a rainbow prism sounds right up your alley?
Bottom line: Whatever the case, find the filter that makes you feel your best, and you’re one step ahead of the game.
7. When/Where do you feel most confident?
Do you feel like a bombshell with a full face of makeup? Maybe you feel most sexy after a sweaty workout sesh when your face is glowing with adrenaline? Maybe it’s poolside in your itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and sunkissed skin? Maybe you feel you’re best with a fresh-face, tousled hair, and sleepy gaze?
Whatever scenario has you feeling most confident, it’s important to play that up in your sexy selfie.
Plus, if it’s a specific person who tends to bring out your inner Kate Upton, think about that person as you snap your sexy selfie. And! Important! Be sure to tell him/her you were thinking of them during your photoshoot. That alone will turn up the sex appeal without you doing much (#lazygirlhacks).
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And there you have it: 7 tips that are guaranteed to help you deliver a boatload of sexiness during your next personal photoshoot. Go ahead, girl, go try it. Dim the lights and get out there and shoot.
Famous Last Words
If you’re new to the world of sending nudes, sexting and sexy selfies then we’d recommend taking a few shots so you can see how comfortable you are. Don’t worry, everyone feels a little weird to start off. And of course, everyone manages to catch some truly awful looking photos of themselves along with some super attractive ones. Nothing like the high of realizing how great your ass looks in a photo to realize that you’ve got six chins and you look like you’ve seen a ghost.
If you’re going to go for it, here’s some quick advice to get a fit sexy selfie photo, not a flop. First, get the lighting right. Second, if you’re going for a mirror selfie, check the background for trash and weird objects, yesterday’s pizza box with one last congealed slice just ruins the vibe. Thirdly, take your time, you can’t rush perfection. And finally … Hit. That. Pose.
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It shouldn’t be that hard to take a good selfie. But we all know that feeling too well: you feel all hot and confident and snap a selfie, eager to send it off to last night’s sexy Tinder date, and surprise — your camera has suddenly become cold and vengeful and refuses to capture you the way you actually look.
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You have two options. Keep snapping away aimlessly, with each selfie worse than the next, until you get frustrated and lose your confidence, or read on for our 13 selfie tips and learn how to take a good selfie, every single time.
a guy just caught me taking a selfie n expected me to be ashamed so i took forty more
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) January 19, 201513 Must-See Selfie Tips:
1. Tilt Something
Angle your phone slightly up, down or to the side or keep your totally phone still and tilt your head slightly. You can also try tilting both your phone and your head, in which case you’ll look rather silly for a few seconds until you nail down your own winning combo of phone + head + tilt. Whatever you do, taking a selfie straight on is probably not going to result in your best shot and it has nothing to do with your beautiful face. Trust me on this.
Think about it. Way back in the day before camera phones were born, when Ben and Jen were Hollywood’s power couple, we took portraits with ‘real’ cameras from lengths away. Not exactly the ideal process for taking a good selfie.
Today, when you take a selfie, you’re just an arm’s length (literally, your arm’s actual length) away from the camera. When you’re super close to any object (in this case, your face), you see the object much differently than when you’re further away.
Like, if you see someone running off in the distance they look, well, tiny. Now if you were basing your observations strictly on what you see, you might be sure there’s a cat-sized man some distance away from you. But since your brain has built up experience you know that the runner is in fact a full size human and in fact, not a cat.
Not convinced? There’s also the fact that the cylindrical shape of a camera lens can make whatever’s in the middle—usually our nose—appear flatter or wider. Yep, I just said your nose might look bigger. Andddd, that should be enough evidence to make sure you tilt something when setting up for a selfie. Let’s move on.
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2. Selfie Eyes Matter
We’re drawn to the eyes of any photo we see. That’s half the charm of the Mona Lisa, right? Even though a lot of communication happens via email and iMessage today, we’re not robots. We’re still searching for that human connection in someone’s eyes.
So, the point is: to take a compelling selfie, focus your eyes on the camera. Directly at the camera, not the phone area in general. If you followed my advice above and wiggled your head and your phone around to find the perfect selfie angle, now you need to freeze, concentrate, and gaze deep into the lens of your smartphone.
If you’re like my mom and have yet to understand exactly where the camera is buried in that sleek, mysterious iPhone attached to your hand, do a few tests to learn where your eyes actually meet the camera.
When taking a selfie, I have friends who pretend they are about to seduce the lens with their eyes. Others try to imagine the moment right before they are about to laugh. In both cases, these friends of mine are trying to soften their eyes and put some human emotion in their expression. A good selfie connects whoever is looking at you, to you, and it’s critical for taking a great selfie.
3. Yep, Lighting Matters Too
Whether you’re selfie-ing indoors or outside, stay away from harsh lighting, like bright white kitchen lights or direct sunlight. That said, make sure there’s enough light – otherwise your photos can come out blurry and no amount of photo editing later is going to be able fix that.
Now, the best time of day to take photos outside is when the sun is lower in the sky, before sunrise and right after sunset. That’s just some essential photography basics for you to chew on right there: I know that no matter how hung up you are on taking a good selfie, you’re not going to wake up before the sun does for it.
5. Hide From The Shadows
You’re looking for the right lighting, but you’ll want to avoid shadows, too. Even if you’ve found the perfect golden hour to snap a selfie: if the shadow of a pole or window blinds cuts across your face, it ain’t cute.
Avoid off-putting shadows by snapping pics in the shade. If you’re taking a post-run selfie and the sun is causing shadow problems, hide out under a shady tree to capture your dewy post-workout glow.
If that’s not doable, angle yourself so the sun is at your back. That prevents shadows and also means you aren’t squinting at the camera from the blinding sun. Oh, and for those of you who are super-extra: you can try a sun diffuser or reflector to manage the shadows.
6. Smile Normal
Remember elementary school picture day? There was always one kid who just couldn’t face the camera with a natural smile. Cue a yearbook photo that haunts everyone’s dreams.
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It’s by no means easy mastering a natural smile for the camera. Unnatural smiles are robotic, stiff, not authentic, and sometimes well, creepy.
Since this isn’t intuitive for everybody, you may have to practice. Take a crapload of selfies and practice until you find your most natural, photogenic smile: purse your lips in different ways, open your mouth halfway, turn up the corners of your lips slightly, smile wide with all your teeth, try a close-lipped smile. Which smile feels the most “you?” Which smile can you nail without looking?
7. Pump Up The Background
Car selfie. Your blank, white bedroom wall. The mirror of your apartment building lobby. Been there, done that, so. many. times. You don’t need to have a full-on fashion runway in the background, but your background should be interesting.
Whether you’re selfie-ing at the park, your home, or even the grocery store, try to do it against an interesting background. A display of apples at the store can look awesome with the right angle. If you’re not feeling creative in the moment, there are other options. Facetune2’s Backdrop tool allows you to change the background of any photo. Replace your boring background with any of the patterned, sparkly or solid-colored options within the app, or choose your own photo.
That’s right! You can be in your bathroom, but look like you’re at the beach you visited last weekend.
7. Be Confident
You don’t need to have the crazy confidence of a grown man in a fedora, but a good selfie projects an air of confidence. Use body language and a tone that exudes your inner strength.
Get pumped before your selfie sesh. Maybe that means:
- Doing 10 jumping jacks before your selfie. As long as it won’t ruin your hair, of course.
- Saying affirmations in the mirror. Is it a little weird? Yeah, but it kinda works. Try saying, “I’m powerful and fearless – and I still can make mistakes,” or something like that. Say it enough that you start to believe it.
- Standing in a power pose. Stand in front of the mirror with your hands on your hips or folded in front of you. Puff out your chest a little and lift your chin. Stand there for a few minutes to feel like a total superhero badass.
Confidence is something you cultivate and work on, so if you aren’t feeling confident right now, make yourself confident.
8. A Flash Decision
Got flash on? Sometimes it’s a blessing for your selfies, and other times, it’s a freakin’ nightmare.
Flash is infamous for turning people’s eyes red and washing out your skin. Basically, it makes you look like a demon spawn from hell. Unless it’s Halloween, that’s not a cute look.
Flash adds a burst of light to subjects that desperately need it. It’s best to use it when you’re inside, in a dark area, or if there are a lot of shadows.
If you’re still looking possessed when you use flash, try a different angle. You can also try using two flashes: the first dilates your eyes (and prevents red-eye) and the second one is for reals.
9. Know Your Good Side
You’ve already tried tilting your camera every-which-way, but what about your actual pose?
People often have a ‘good side’ – a side of their face they prefer. Which one is yours? Maybe the right side of your face has more freckles that hint at your bubbly personality. Or maybe you hate your right side because the bump on your nose from falling off a skateboard in high school is more apparent.
Choose your good side and try to selfie from that angle. It’ll save you time and retakes – if you’re usually happier with a certain side of your face in the mirror, you’ll also be more happy with it in photos. Do what makes you feel good.
10. Get Inspired
Selfies are hard! Your followers expect to see something exciting and different—how do you keep upping the ante?
You need to feel inspired. If you’re feeling creatively stunted, a dose of celeb selfies is just what the doctor ordered. If you don’t follow some of the Kardashians on Instagram just yet, now’s the time. Take inspiration from the feeds of more local influencers you admire as well.
What are they wearing? What does the caption say? Where is the celeb? How’s their makeup? What angles or lighting are they using? A little recon (and mimicking) will help you learn how to take good selfies in no time.
11. Try Portrait Mode
How do you take a good selfie with nothing but an iPhone? Fortunately for you, the iPhone comes complete with a fancy portrait-specific feature that make glamorous selfies a breeze.
Portrait mode focuses on the person in the photo, and defocuses the background – creating a professional look with minimal effort. You can choose from various options, like Natural, Studio, or Contour which add different kinds of light or drama, some even compliment with a touch of skin smoothing. Switch things up and see how your selfie comes out in Portrait mode.
12. Facetune Is Your Selfie’s BFF
Oh, you knew this one was coming. There’s a reason Facetune and Facetune2 have been at the top of the charts on the App Store since the brand emerged in 2013, and now there’s even a Facetune Video app, for selfie videos. It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you ugly. It makes you a master selfie taker. Taking a good selfie becomes easier than ever. Let’s talk about why.
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With a selfie editor app, you simply get better selfies. You can swipe away a pimple because your skin has waged war on you this week. You can conceal your dark circles because you binged on Netflix until 4am. With Facetune2, you can use the Reshape tool to adjust your features, if you ignored my advice about tilting and came out with a jawline or a nose wider than space. Let’s face it, photos live on IG way longer than blemishes live on your face, so I choose to just swipe them away.
If you’re feeling particularly creative, or self expressive, you can get, well, creative or self-expressive with your selfies. Facetune2 has a tool called Neon which adds a colorful glow around to your photo, similar to the gel filters that are used in high-fashion photoshoots these days.
There’s also a Defocus tool, where you tap once and the background is blurred around your face, taking your selfie one step closer to a professional headshot and one step further from the messy room selfie it really is.
13. Practice Makes A Perfect Selfie
Knowledge is power, and now that you know how to take the perfect selfie, you can take on any bad skin day, defocus any trashy background (bar bathroom selfie, I’m talking to you), and empower yourself with an awesome selfie that’ll make you feel like a rockstar. The more you do it, the better you’ll get, and soon you’ll be able to nail your best angle effortlessly.
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So there you have it: a few basic rules & tips to follow and tips to live by every time you snap a selfie – and you’ll be rocking your social media feed for everyone who’s watching. And you know, they are.
Now that you’ve learned how to look better in selfies, it’s time share that rockstar pic with the world, with relevant hashtags (find out why selfie hashtags don’t necessarily work in 2020) and a fabulous selfie captions guide guaranteed to stop your followers mid-scroll.
Additional How-To Selfie Guides:
- How to take a selfie self portrait: Self portraits, the first cousin of selfies, have their own similar set of selfie tips and rules.
- How to take a selfie with a dog: Taking a selfie with an oblivious pooch isn’t easy.
- How to take a pregnant selfie: Show off your baby bump in an awesome pregnancy selfie.
- How to take a full body selfie: Show off your body and use our 6 tips for taking a bomb full-body selfie.
- How to take a selfie at night: Nighttime selfies are popular but not super easy: read how to do them properly.
- How to take a good selfie over age 40: Age is just a number: take awesome selfies no matter your age.